Secrets Revealed
by Sunryse
Summary: Buffy finds out about Spikes soul


Title: Secrets Revealed  
Author: Sunryse  
Website: http://spikes-haven.tvheaven.com  
Feedback: Yes please!   
Summary: Buffy finds out about Spike's soul   
Disclaimer: Yeah right they're all mine, phfft, dream on. Everything  
is Joss' and you know it.  
  
*********************   
  
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*********************  
  
Spike got a what?" Buffy looked at Anya like she had suddenly grew a  
third  
eye and horns.  
  
"A soul! Spike has a soul, I can smell it." Anya met Buffy's eyes,  
"Now he's  
not the evil soulless thing that some people think he is."  
  
"What they give these out at the 7eleven now?" Buffy's thoughts  
started  
churning, visions of all the heinous things he would have had to do to  
get a soul made her sick. "Oh God, I knew I should have just staked  
him long  
ago. I don't think I want to know what he did to be punished."  
  
"Punished? You think this is a curse, don't you?" Anya laughed  
nervously,  
one part of her mortified at his failure as a demon, the other side  
proud  
that he could accomplish something of this magnitude. " Well. rumor  
has it  
that he earned it. Not quite sure how much to believe , but most times  
the  
demon grapevine is pretty reliable."  
  
Buffy took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, "Are you sure about  
this?"  
  
"Well pretty sure, unless... I might be getting a cold or there's  
another  
gas leak around here somewhere, but it sure smells like a soul to me."  
Anya  
turned back to trying to clean up the mess that used to be the Magic  
Box,  
leaving Buffy standing in the rubble wondering at what point the world  
got knocked off it's axis.  
  
*********************  
  
  
"Anya thinks you have a soul. Do you?" Buffy watched Spike's face  
waiting  
for the hint of a lie. Crossing her arms over her chest she waited for  
the  
telltale rise in his voice he always got when he wasn't telling the  
truth,  
or the little boy look of just getting caught with his hand in the  
cookie  
jar. Buffy wondered to herself how he could have ever passed the  
'Lying  
for Vampires' class. "A soul?" Spike looked down at the floor  
contemplating what his answer would  
be. The whole question seemed like a giant quagmire just waiting for  
him to  
step in it. "Now why would I go do something stupid like that? OK,  
that's  
bloody funny. Vampire, remember? Glad to see you gettin' your sense of  
humor  
back Slayer." His voice caught as it rose an octave higher. His hands  
punctuating his words fluttered through the air like a pair of  
uproosted  
birds with no where to land. "Vampires and souls really don't mix now  
do  
they? Except maybe for a cursed vampire. Do I look like Angel all  
broody  
and with bad hair?"  
  
Buffy's heart raced. She had been waiting for the lie that he had a  
soul,  
but she wasn't prepared for the lie that he didn't have one. "Anya was  
right? Was she right that you earned it too?"  
Watching her face for a hint of what she was thinking, Spike struggled  
with how much or how little to tell her. Bragging didn't seem right,  
lying wasn't working. Taking a breath he whispered "Yup, fought for it  
and earned it fair and square. It's all mine."  
"What the hell did you do that for?" She felt like her legs had been  
pulled out from under  
her and she was waiting for the floor to hit her in the face. "You  
stupid  
idiot! Why?"  
  
Spike looked at her, he had expected to see happiness, maybe surprise,  
but  
anger wasn't on his list. "Seems I buggered up the soulless thing  
right  
well, so thought maybe I'd see what was happening on the other  
channel."  
"This is about me, isn't it? About what happened that night in my  
bathroom?"  
Buffy felt her heart miss a beat as she remembered the look on his  
face  
after she kicked him off of her.  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for betraying your trust. I'm sorry for being  
what I  
am...was." Spike slumped against the sarcophagus, wishing he had a  
cigarette but... out with the old, in with the new.  
  
" Spike you hurt me. It hurt that I did trust you and that I shouldn't  
have.  
It hurt that you tried to do what you did." Buffy took a deep breath,  
"but  
I forgave you before you ever slammed out of the house. I finally  
figured  
out that it wasn't all about me. That there were two of us in that  
relationship, and that you deserved more than to be scraped off my  
shoe like  
a used piece of gum." All the emotions that she had kept inside for  
months... things she could only say to him, and things she should have  
said a long time ago and had been afraid to, all fighting at once  
for escape.  
  
Spike took a deep breath hoping to clam the feeling of overwhelming  
dread  
that threatened to drown him, "I thought this was what you needed. To  
trust  
me again." Spike could feel the sting of unshed tears behind his eyes,  
biting down on his bottom lip he tried to control the emotions that  
threatened to engulf him . " It was what I needed to trust me. To  
trust me  
with Dawn, to trust me with you... to trust my love for you. I knew  
why you  
could never love me, and why I could never be loved."   
  
"Dammit Spike! You were right all along." Grabbing him by the  
shoulders she  
spun him around bringing them face to face. Looking into his eyes,  
Buffy  
felt like she was seeing him for the very first time, and realizing  
she  
would never see a part of him again." Spike, I did love you. Not what  
you  
were, but I loved who you were."  
  
Taking a deep breath she pulled him against her, wrapping her arms  
around  
his neck. "What if the part of you that I loved is the part that's  
changed... or gone?" Burying her face in the crook of his neck she  
held him  
tight afraid that what was left would slip away too. "I loved you."  
  
Spike sighed as he wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in  
her  
hair, a long held back tear sliding down his cheek. "Now you tell me!"  
  
*********************   
  
"A vampire with a soul? Oh my god, how lame is that? "  
Buffy in Tabula Rasa 


End file.
